The weirdest things Aaron Rodgers has done, ranked.

Have you noticed an uptick in the US government shooting down unidentified flying objects? So has Aaron Rodgers, and he has a theory about it. No, it’s not because the US is looking for balloon-sized objects where they were before, it’s because the scary government is trying to distract you from looking at … Jeffrey Epstein.

“There’s a lot of old papers and files about interactions Navy pilots have had with unidentified flying objects, so this is not surprising,” Rodgers told Pat McAfee on Tuesday. “Obviously, there was some sort of Chinese spy balloon that was up in the air, allegedly, and there’s been a few other objects that have been shot down. I believe that this has been going on for a long time. Interesting timing on everything. There’s a lot of other things going on in the world.”

Rodgers and McAfee then went on to expound on the “crazy shit” going on in the world. And Rodgers had this extremely nuanced and well-informed take on Epstein:

“Did you hear about the Epstein client list about to be released? There’s some files that have some names on it that might be getting released pretty soon. [Ghislaine] Maxwell was the only person ever convicted of the trafficking, and nobody who was involved in the trafficking ever went to jail, so … nothing to see here.”

In all seriousness, this is one of the dumbest conversations about anything I’ve ever heard in my life, and the fact that people listen to these brainiacs opine on current events is mind-boggling and devastatingly depressing.

Julie K. Brown, a Miami reporter who has been covering the Epstein story since Day 1 and wrote an entire book about it, was understandably appalled at Rodgers’ continued spreading of misinformation:

But this is how misinformation spreads, no? Someone with a platform, who hasn’t bothered to do any research, “heard” about something, gets the story mostly wrong, tells someone else — who also hasn’t done any research, a giant game of telephone ensues and “jeffrey epstein chinese balloon purple monkey dishwasher” comes out. And when those who actually know better try to correct the record, they get called “stooges” by a bunch of idiots who never knew what they were talking about in the first place. Great work, Aaron.

If the Jets are reading this, sign Derek Carr! You don’t want this circus rolling into town.