‘Let them down’: NRL star breaks silence

The Parramatta five-eighth pleaded guilty to two counts of sexually touching a woman without consent at the Golden Sheaf Hotel. Brown was initially banned from playing under the NRL’s no-fault stand-down policy.

That ban was lifted last week but the NRL then hit him with a seven-game suspension, with Brown set to return in round 23.

He was also fined $40,000 by the NRL, with half of that suspended, with the Eels imposing further sanctions on Tuesday.

That includes a $20,000 fine that will be donated to charity as well as a comprehensive alcohol management plan, a presentation to the club’s juniors and ongoing professional counselling.

“I’m not asking for forgiveness because my actions weren’t good enough,” Brown told media on Tuesday afternoon.

“I’m trying to move on but obviously that’s hard, especially when you’re not playing. That’s probably the worst part is not being able to put up for my team. That’s who I feel I’ve let down the most (as well) as fans, the game and a lot of people.

“I’ve let myself down, but that’s something you can deal with internally. When you’re letting other people down, that’s where it starts to affect you.”

Brown got emotional when talking about his mother and sister, explaining how upset he’d be if he found out that something bad like this had happened to them.

“That’s probably the most upsetting part,” he said.

“When it’s something you’ve done to yourself, it’s fine. But when it involves someone else, especially a female, it’s tough because I’ve got a mum and a sister.

“That’s why I was getting emotional before because I think about those people. If something happens to them, then I wouldn’t be happy.

“They support me. I’ve got a lot of beautiful women around me in my family and friends, so when it was time to discuss, it was obviously a slap around the head, but they also understand who I am and that doesn’t uphold who I am as a person.

“I’m a role model in a way to a lot of people, so that’s probably the worst part. I’m a role model to a lot of people, including my family. I’ve let them down. It’s not just me, it’s a lot of other people getting affected by this.”

There were calls for the 23-year-old to miss the rest of the season for what he did, and Brown said he would have copped whatever punishment came his way.

“I’m happy that she (the victim) went and complained because I shouldn’t be able to get away with things like that,” he said.

“It’s a good kick up the arse for me and I’ve definitely thought about that every single day. It’s embarrassing.

“It (the punishment) is fair.

“I was ready to take whatever. I told everyone that I was willing to accept whatever penalty came my way, whether it be money or games.

“Now I’ve got to bite the bullet and understand that this is what’s going to happen. If I act up outside of footy, then this is what I get.

“It’s a legal term. It’s not me doing a crusher tackle on the field – it’s not small like that. It’s something off the field that has affected a female, which you never intend to do, especially when you’re out.

“It’s embarrassing and I’m willing to take whatever.”

Brown reportedly told the court that he had consumed between 15 and 20 drinks that night before the incident, which is why he won’t be having any alcohol until he returns.

“Alcohol was a thing on the night, not that I’m making that an excuse,” he said.

“I shouldn’t be able to allow myself to get to that point and put myself in a position where I can make those bad decisions. Keeping away from alcohol is a temporary thing for me.

“There’s a plan that the club is helping me with. They understand that even though (drinking) is not a huge problem, it’s allowing myself into those positions where I can make bad decisions.

“For now, I’ve decided to stop drinking until I get back on the field and prove to myself that I deserve everyone’s acceptance.”

Brown’s teammates have supported him over the past few weeks, with the five-eighth allowed to train with the club while he was stood down.

But he knows this is a line-in-the-sand moment in his career, with the club well within its rights to sack him if he gets in trouble again.

“It’s a massive turning point,” he said.

“There are two ways I can react to this. I can use it as an excuse to go and play bad, or I can make better decisions on and off the field. It’s up to me. I’m going to put a line in the sand, step through and hopefully be a better person.

“It’s not a club thing, it’s not a last chance thing. It’s just me. You don’t want to be doing that regardless of what happens and the consequences of not playing.

“It’s up to me and representing myself and my family. I don’t want anything like that to happen again, whether that’s alcohol or female related. I want to be a player that people can look up to, and that’s on and off the field.”

Originally published as ‘It’s embarrassing’: Dylan Brown breaks silence over Double Bay incident and apologises to people he’s let down